Remembering… Her (One ShotWednesday)


Watching…

He stood on the edge

never again to hold her

nor call her “mine”

*

Yearning…

for arms never again held

lips never

kissed

*

Cringing

from memory of loss

the day he

pushed her away

*

Remembering…

days he called her

held her close

before he

Left …


Photograph by my talented friend Terence Jones *http://www.flickr.com/photos/terence_s_jones

Today starts another great One Shot Wednesday. I am always thrilled at the number of poets who come by and share their work.  My writing has improved because of the fine work submitted here. Enjoy One Shot

Author: moondustwriter

Thank you for visiting Moondustwriter. One of the many exciting things I've had the honor of doing is writing and publishing in multiple genres (including education) in E. African for E. Africa. As a writer, it is a thrill to write for children (on all continents) who want to learn. I've been part of the blogging community for more than 13 years. Some old timers may remember the award winning (2011 Twitter Shorty ) blog community - One Stop Poetry. I was the co-producer of that fast growing blog community. I am a published writer, poet, artist and photographer. I have written, as well as edited, for periodicals, radio, blogs and fellow writers. There are many facets to this moon - my joy is in meeting you!

60 thoughts on “Remembering… Her (One ShotWednesday)”

  1. There is a sweet sadness pervading this poem. I can clearly see where you are heading towards, and both your style and content support each other well. One quibble: you say in line 3 “never to hold her” and then in line 15 “held her close.” I think the poem would be improved with more continuity, but there is a bittersweet poem in there that will be wonderful to see further developed.

    crb

    Like

  2. That sense of loss. It reminds me of the last scene in the movie (my favorite movie) Sense and Sensibility where Willoughby watches on horseback as the wedding parties go by, and you sense his loss and the punishment of the times. Well done here lovely moon lady..I loved it (and you!) Gay (@beachanny)

    Like

  3. Moondust-er, you have a beautiful command of words which mean more than what they mean. I could fill in several years of his life and his emotional problems with ease. And the sadness.

    Who of us has not experienced an unnecessary loss of love?

    thank you.
    Steve

    Like

    1. Michele, your words still echo with regret and and uneelievrd hurt. I can understand those feelings, having survived a parent’s loss from cancer and its effects. All you can do is remember the previous birthday, its well-wishes and loving care, and lay those memories over the one that hurts. At least it helps.Well done, my friend.

      Like

  4. so heartbreaking when someone leaves…it is as if you do not know what to do with the emotions…nice write…bkm

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  5. Haven’t we all been there? However, you said it beautifully, and great accompanying picture. Regret is always hard…wondering what could have been.

    Like

    1. Personally I don’t think there are many people in the world (if any) who holsteny, unselfishly writes for others. Writing, like most artforms, is essentially a selfish act we do it to make ourselves feel better, to exorcise our demons, to impress others, to prove something, to make a living Even when we write something to delight others, it’s essentially to make them delighted by what we produced’ still a selfish act.

      Like

  6. Universal themes, which plead to any heart. We can’t escape this throughout life…and because of it we hold life closer.

    I like the minimalism of this poem: when we get the too many words out of the way, the sentiment and the direct poignancy shines through and sticks to the heart.

    Well done.

    Lady Nyo

    Like

  7. ..so why did he leave…?
    reminded me of this feeling when you still feel very related to someone but just know you can’t go on – had a relationship like this once and knew i had to go but it broke my heart…so how did you know and could describe my feelings so well…smiles

    Like

  8. This is what I call the “Great Sadness”…a sweet, sadness that exists everywhere and surrounds everyone…its part of the fabric of our existence. This poem has bits of the Great Sadness woven throughout

    I’m happy to be a part of the community with you!

    Like

  9. The form of your poem totally got me STUNNED!!!!! 🙂
    My one shot happens to have a similar structure…. Each stanza beginning with an ‘ing’ word… jeeeeeez!!! This is too much of a telepathy! Last night I suddenly got the idea for a topic for my one shot, and out of the blue, I had this “Christmas tree” structure formed in my head – mainly cuz my poem has to do with a tree…

    Coming back to your poem here, it is really beautiful! The emotions associated with leaving someone you love/loved are brought out so well here! In fact, yours and mine seem like two sides of the same coin! If you read mine, you will know what I mean…

    Phheeww.. this is just TOO GOOD, Moon!! MANY HUGS!!

    Like

      1. I have never considered mylesf much of a writer. I do think at some point in time I would like to write a book, but right now I find mylesf without the time. Good post!

        Like

    1. Perhaps we need to learn to be enough for oluserves. Should we ask others to do this for us, we generally meet with disappointment ! Perhaps this is a good reason for having such experiences as loneliness and sadness. Not nice energies of course, however they do have a lot to teach us !A lovely poem, Nanda .

      Like

  10. Moondustwriter:

    Love the format you chose, and the flow and style,,,, lol you were already good at this …. lovely write enjoyed reading and feeling the flow of your words.

    Cheers,
    Joanny

    Like

    1. I write for a number of roaesns. Sometimes because I want to say something to a special person. Sometimes for pure fun (my first novel). Sometimes because as a child I wanted to be an author. Sometimes because I need to express strong feelings and emotions and a poem is the most effective way.

      Like

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