Watching…
He stood on the edge
never again to hold her
nor call her “mine”
*
Yearning…
for arms never again held
lips never
kissed
*
Cringing
from memory of loss
the day he
pushed her away
*
Remembering…
days he called her
held her close
before he
Left …
Photograph by my talented friend Terence Jones *http://www.flickr.com/photos/terence_s_jones
Today starts another great One Shot Wednesday. I am always thrilled at the number of poets who come by and share their work. My writing has improved because of the fine work submitted here. Enjoy One Shot
penned in moon dust 
A sad love song.
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absolutely beautiful.
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Very poignant. Excellent, as always.
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thanks my friend
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Way to kick off One Shot, Leslie! The short abrupt lines fit well with the actions and overall meaning. Great photo too.
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There is a sweet sadness pervading this poem. I can clearly see where you are heading towards, and both your style and content support each other well. One quibble: you say in line 3 “never to hold her” and then in line 15 “held her close.” I think the poem would be improved with more continuity, but there is a bittersweet poem in there that will be wonderful to see further developed.
crb
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That sense of loss. It reminds me of the last scene in the movie (my favorite movie) Sense and Sensibility where Willoughby watches on horseback as the wedding parties go by, and you sense his loss and the punishment of the times. Well done here lovely moon lady..I loved it (and you!) Gay (@beachanny)
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Nicely captured regret. I really like the use of “cringing.” Something about that word . . .
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Moondust-er, you have a beautiful command of words which mean more than what they mean. I could fill in several years of his life and his emotional problems with ease. And the sadness.
Who of us has not experienced an unnecessary loss of love?
thank you.
Steve
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Beautiful, Moonie. It’s a familiar theme for me these days.
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Pain is such a great muse! The picture and poem are a perfect compliment, well done!
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awe lovely, but then they always are xxx
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Michele, your words still echo with regret and and uneelievrd hurt. I can understand those feelings, having survived a parent’s loss from cancer and its effects. All you can do is remember the previous birthday, its well-wishes and loving care, and lay those memories over the one that hurts. At least it helps.Well done, my friend.
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Haunting, sparse/super-effective use of language, almost too relatable/sorrowful (LOL), emotional without being bathetic.
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Simple and beautiful poem, great work
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The longing, nostalgia and regret permeating this poem really affect the reader. Beautifully expressed.
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Sad regrets.
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moon…sad poem…he seems to have some regrets on leaving..perfect pic too…nice one shot!
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so heartbreaking when someone leaves…it is as if you do not know what to do with the emotions…nice write…bkm
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Haven’t we all been there? However, you said it beautifully, and great accompanying picture. Regret is always hard…wondering what could have been.
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Beautifully Sad….
MDW….You are simply Amazing…Thanks.
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i love the stream, from longing to leaving. we don’t always stay do we.
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sad yet so beautiful!
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me too there has been more people out there who have been signing up and its great
):)(:(
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Beautiful poem. I especially loved the way you formatted it. The bold words made a world of difference in the perception of the poem. It evoked a lot of emotion. Great work!
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This was very inspiring, John! Thank you for snahirg this poem! It is so true and makes you take time to stop and evaluate where you are in life!
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Bittersweet.
A poem really needs to sound, look and feel beautiful.
And Leslie, you accomplished all this with this sweet poem of lost love – the best kind of love?
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Beautiful and sad, thank you for this One Shot.
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bitter sweet symphony
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Touching and sad indeed, beautifully written =)
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Personally I don’t think there are many people in the world (if any) who holsteny, unselfishly writes for others. Writing, like most artforms, is essentially a selfish act we do it to make ourselves feel better, to exorcise our demons, to impress others, to prove something, to make a living Even when we write something to delight others, it’s essentially to make them delighted by what we produced’ still a selfish act.
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Beautiful poem. I loved the structure of the poem, so strong. Fantastic One Shot!
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Universal themes, which plead to any heart. We can’t escape this throughout life…and because of it we hold life closer.
I like the minimalism of this poem: when we get the too many words out of the way, the sentiment and the direct poignancy shines through and sticks to the heart.
Well done.
Lady Nyo
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Bittersweet sadness, beautiful even in its pain. Emotional, this sense of loss–an unfortunate part of life.
And a lovely picture to boot!
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A poignant love poetry.
the middles makes it
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“Only when the well is dry do we know the wealth of water.” – Benjamin Franklin
Nice One Shot!
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Lovely, sad piece…I feel the pain; great contrast to the poem in this splendid photo. 🙂 Heartspell
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You chose the four perfect words to describe a love once alive and now gone. So sad and so beautifully expressed…
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This kind of yearning is deeply felt and painful. Beautiful.
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Oh the mistakes we make…the sense of regret is profound here. You can feel his ache. Enjoyed this one shot, even though sad.
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..so why did he leave…?
reminded me of this feeling when you still feel very related to someone but just know you can’t go on – had a relationship like this once and knew i had to go but it broke my heart…so how did you know and could describe my feelings so well…smiles
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How we mourn that which we never quite had hold of..
This is a sad but accurate reflection.
Well done.
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what a wonderful start to One Shot….you certainly set the bar with this touching piece..great One Shot cheers pete
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This is what I call the “Great Sadness”…a sweet, sadness that exists everywhere and surrounds everyone…its part of the fabric of our existence. This poem has bits of the Great Sadness woven throughout
I’m happy to be a part of the community with you!
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The form of your poem totally got me STUNNED!!!!! 🙂
My one shot happens to have a similar structure…. Each stanza beginning with an ‘ing’ word… jeeeeeez!!! This is too much of a telepathy! Last night I suddenly got the idea for a topic for my one shot, and out of the blue, I had this “Christmas tree” structure formed in my head – mainly cuz my poem has to do with a tree…
Coming back to your poem here, it is really beautiful! The emotions associated with leaving someone you love/loved are brought out so well here! In fact, yours and mine seem like two sides of the same coin! If you read mine, you will know what I mean…
Phheeww.. this is just TOO GOOD, Moon!! MANY HUGS!!
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This is a cool poem.
i like how you bolded some of the words for emphasis.
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So touching and beautiful.Totally convey the feeling of loss.Wish I could write as beautifully!
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That is kind June truly
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I have never considered mylesf much of a writer. I do think at some point in time I would like to write a book, but right now I find mylesf without the time. Good post!
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Perhaps we need to learn to be enough for oluserves. Should we ask others to do this for us, we generally meet with disappointment ! Perhaps this is a good reason for having such experiences as loneliness and sadness. Not nice energies of course, however they do have a lot to teach us !A lovely poem, Nanda .
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Moondustwriter:
Love the format you chose, and the flow and style,,,, lol you were already good at this …. lovely write enjoyed reading and feeling the flow of your words.
Cheers,
Joanny
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You have a nice style..touching to say the least. Way to go.
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i wish some one would realize this about me .. beautiful write 🙂
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A memory caught well that we all have to shoulder. Thanks for reading and commenting on And binding with briars our joys and desires. Hope your week goes well.
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Amazing poem that speaks with deep sadness Moon. Loved the phote too. Have a great day my friend x
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I write for a number of roaesns. Sometimes because I want to say something to a special person. Sometimes for pure fun (my first novel). Sometimes because as a child I wanted to be an author. Sometimes because I need to express strong feelings and emotions and a poem is the most effective way.
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That was meant to be “photo” grrrrrrrrr.
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no worries silly
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Very sad indeed. Nice write Moon. Love and Light, Sender
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I like sad and morose
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