Etched in my Heart


Darling -You entered my life

broke through the wall of my heart.

Your sweet caress

balm to my weary soul.

You love me

like none ever could.

Yet you would walk away

for my happiness~ not your own.

How could your leaving

cause anything but pain?

Don’t leave now

you are permanently

etched in my heart.

What do we do on Sundays at One Stop Poetry? why One Shoot Sunday.  Join us as we meet talented photographers like KJ Halliday and get the opportunity to write off a poetry prompt.

Author: moondustwriter

Thank you for visiting Moondustwriter. One of the many exciting things I've had the honor of doing is writing and publishing in multiple genres (including education) in E. African for E. Africa. As a writer, it is a thrill to write for children (on all continents) who want to learn. I've been part of the blogging community for more than 13 years. Some old timers may remember the award winning (2011 Twitter Shorty ) blog community - One Stop Poetry. I was the co-producer of that fast growing blog community. I am a published writer, poet, artist and photographer. I have written, as well as edited, for periodicals, radio, blogs and fellow writers. There are many facets to this moon - my joy is in meeting you!

29 thoughts on “Etched in my Heart”

  1. nice. just came from another that was on anger and red…and you find loss and love…like the etching…and the feeling behind it…makes me think of carving intials of a loves one into a tree…

    Like

  2. Even more poignant that she’s walking away to save someone’s happiness. Ouch. Reminds me of the “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” expression when breaking up. Never fun to hear that. The last lines of being etched in the heart leave a powerful ending. Great challenge response, Leslie

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  3. What a loving plea, I really want her to turn around now. I’m loving one shoot, every one see’s the world in different perspectives. And this proves it! Thanks Leslie

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  4. I see this in three sections. Thirteen lines divided into two quatrains and one triolet to end it.

    the first word sets the tempo up for the narrators view of her lover “Darling” and that view is supported in the first four lines.

    Then the second four lines set up a fear of being left behind but not for the lovers sake but the beloved narrators which then tells us of the lovers feelings for the narrator. Both work very well together because it defines the relationship as mutually loving.

    It is the first word of the last three lines where I was brought up short. “Don’t” to my ear this makes the narrator appear to be begging her lover to stay regardless of the reason why.

    Because of the lines that follow that word I would have used something different. because the lover is “permanently etched into the narrators heart” they can’t leave even if they do leave. I would make it into a definitive there ain’t no way for you to split because even if you do the best of you is still here with me permanently.

    Know why I mean?

    Like

  5. Such sadness always comes when relationships end, and this really sums up the confusion you feel so intensely when the other person makes the decision to end it before it’s gone bad. So sad, but so elegantly described.

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  6. “Don’t leave now
    you are permanently
    etched in my heart.”

    why do some think they are the reason for pain when all they bring is joy into the weariness of life? we must hold on to them and breathe them into life. this is lovely, my dear 🙂 xx

    Like

  7. There is a tragedy or some level of pain in this photo, isn’t there? I couldn’t write without including it…and you do so beautifully, a fullness and yet leaving and heartbreak like that red all around…loved it moon!:)

    Like

  8. Though the physical presence may leave us, their touch, their thoughts, their personage never does – it lingers on in heart and mind, even if it causes pain to do so. Romantic, yet tragic – it captures the reverberation of departure, of longing that I think courses through the image.

    Like

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