Darling -You entered my life
broke through the wall of my heart.
Your sweet caress
balm to my weary soul.
You love me
like none ever could.
Yet you would walk away
for my happiness~ not your own.
How could your leaving
cause anything but pain?
Don’t leave now
you are permanently
etched in my heart.
What do we do on Sundays at One Stop Poetry? why One Shoot Sunday. Join us as we meet talented photographers like KJ Halliday and get the opportunity to write off a poetry prompt.
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penned in moon dust 
the painful words of love.. beautifully composed!!
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I’m wondering if you can experience love without the pain aspect. They are both part of life.
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Etched in my heart..beautiful. I enjoyed this very much. Well written and heart felt.
Gay @beachanny
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nice. just came from another that was on anger and red…and you find loss and love…like the etching…and the feeling behind it…makes me think of carving intials of a loves one into a tree…
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Even more poignant that she’s walking away to save someone’s happiness. Ouch. Reminds me of the “it’s-not-you-it’s-me” expression when breaking up. Never fun to hear that. The last lines of being etched in the heart leave a powerful ending. Great challenge response, Leslie
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sometimes we make sacrifices for those we love. Painful yes but
in the end, everyone benefits.
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Beautiful!
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What a loving plea, I really want her to turn around now. I’m loving one shoot, every one see’s the world in different perspectives. And this proves it! Thanks Leslie
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I see this in three sections. Thirteen lines divided into two quatrains and one triolet to end it.
the first word sets the tempo up for the narrators view of her lover “Darling” and that view is supported in the first four lines.
Then the second four lines set up a fear of being left behind but not for the lovers sake but the beloved narrators which then tells us of the lovers feelings for the narrator. Both work very well together because it defines the relationship as mutually loving.
It is the first word of the last three lines where I was brought up short. “Don’t” to my ear this makes the narrator appear to be begging her lover to stay regardless of the reason why.
Because of the lines that follow that word I would have used something different. because the lover is “permanently etched into the narrators heart” they can’t leave even if they do leave. I would make it into a definitive there ain’t no way for you to split because even if you do the best of you is still here with me permanently.
Know why I mean?
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yes always grateful that you dig deeper
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..etched in my heart..i like this – speaks of eternity – some people never leave even if they leave..
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so true – you think of those who have gone on they are still there
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Very nice take on the picture prompt.
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Thanks I had fun with that shot
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And there is no white out or eraser that can dissolve that etching.
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Ah spoken like a true romantic…very good response to the prompt.
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It’s okay, but there aren’t any zombies. I want zombies. 😉
(This is beautiful, Moonie. I know this one by heart, believe me.)
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I’m not a Zombie kinda girl Shay – Lol
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permanently etched in my heart…lovely line that implies to me if he left her then his etch would literally tear her heart apart.
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Oh I didnt think of the tear part – ouch
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Such sadness always comes when relationships end, and this really sums up the confusion you feel so intensely when the other person makes the decision to end it before it’s gone bad. So sad, but so elegantly described.
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But there is always something left
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etched in my heart
love it
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we all some love etched there dont we??
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“Don’t leave now
you are permanently
etched in my heart.”
why do some think they are the reason for pain when all they bring is joy into the weariness of life? we must hold on to them and breathe them into life. this is lovely, my dear 🙂 xx
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Hmmm – I always love your romantic, hopeful spirit
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There is a tragedy or some level of pain in this photo, isn’t there? I couldn’t write without including it…and you do so beautifully, a fullness and yet leaving and heartbreak like that red all around…loved it moon!:)
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Relationships are wrought with that pain – but the ones that last are the ones the can endure
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Though the physical presence may leave us, their touch, their thoughts, their personage never does – it lingers on in heart and mind, even if it causes pain to do so. Romantic, yet tragic – it captures the reverberation of departure, of longing that I think courses through the image.
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