I looked up at a star one day
and looked it in the eye
where did you come from
I had to say
before you radiated beauty in the sky?
***
She laughed a bit and blushed some too
with a grin she took my hand
She said
I’ll show you around a bit
show you how I was planned
***
We sailed across the cosmic waves
sorrow left behind
saw untold beauty
as we journeyed
far and wide
***
We danced and sang
with stars we played
followed comets
in their trail
turned planets on their spindles
and drank the milky way
***
She said let me show you why you’ve come
her point was clear and strong
for as I gazed
I was amazed
it was you and I all along
***
At that moment when our eyes first touched
and sparks flew in the night
they gathered
into one strong burst
before they took to flight
***
she laughed and said “it was great love
that put me in the sky”
she hugged me much
a giggle too
and then she said “goodbye”
This is my poem for One Shot Wednesday. Please join us for a brilliant selection of poetry written by some very talented folks that One Stop Poetry has the privilege of reading and sharing.
Dear reader you must forgive me. I am in withdrawals. I havent written a story for children in too long so here is my romantic spirit and my writing for children merging.
Also … Check out Dancing in Shadow a One Stop duet I had the honor of writing with Sean Vessey.
Thanks to Dagoaty for the delightful pic: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dagoaty/3178288772
Awww really liked this, felt like I was on an adventure with you out in the galaxy too. There’s something about stars and fantasy that always enchants me, perhaps that they take you away from reality for a moment 🙂
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As I read it I thought what a wonderful way to explain to children the origin of life wish I ha had it then but equally enjoyable read as an adult! Antonia Baranov
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I am reminded of The Little Prince. Thank you Leslie for a journey of innocence and wonder. Great write.
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smiles. i like the idea it is love that put stars in the sky…but i guess it is true….
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I like the function of this piece Leslie. I may have (remember “I”) spent a little more time on organization and form. You establish a perfect rhythm in the first verse. I would have tried to keep it going in that same first line, final line rhyme through out. It’s a pretty anal thing to do but it involves counting syllables and matching the count to establish the beat.
That said I liked this, I could see where a kid who is not a big fan of poetry could see the action here and be a bit enthralled with it.
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I do agree and with a re-write will work on that – especially if I do a series of poetry for children. But you know my 5 minute rule *ha*
I was putting my other 5 minutes X … in a fueled article on cyber harassment http://bit.ly/hKunz3
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Beautiful! Touching! Fun! Delightful! And So Moon-y Lovely. 🙂
I especially like drinking the Milky Way, and the dancing and singing part — great endless cosmic party.
xoxo
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when I write these I think of your little one
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I love the journey of innocence and wonder here. I am reminded of the Little Prince. thank you Leslie. Great Write.
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Thanks Sean – hmm Petit Prince – un peu
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Leslie,
A simply beautiful poem. I loved the journey and
Discovery held in this poem. A journey for both adults and children to take. Thank you for sharing. ~Corbie Sinclair
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That one is very sweet.
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I enjoy how you narrate through a story. I love the whimsical quality to this and your picture.
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so beautiful and heartwarming…I would love to see this lushly illustrated and on a shelf in a bookstore, better yet my library 🙂
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aww thanks – actually considering taken my poetry for children and getting it published – would be fun – ohhh another project
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Delightful!
Thank you for your kind words on my blog. We are getting there x
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A sweet and delicate poem.
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Always appreciate your encouragement here and on twitter
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and again, we are young…lovely
Peace, hp
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Oh wow, that was just beautiful. I got quite choked up! Thank you- you have helped lift my spirits. 🙂
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Aww Thanks James
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she laughed and said “it was great love
that put me in the sky”
she hugged me much
a giggle too
and then she said “goodbye”
i liked this…until i got to the last stanza…then i loved it! i am reminded of the song that says, ‘love makes the world go round…’ and as i see the stars scattered in the heavens i realize this is just what you have said. refreshing and fun.
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I think love does and moons and stars *giggle*
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A cosmic delight, Leslie. I agree with Sean; this really reminded me of The Little Prince. I can easily imagine this with illustrations delighting young readers.
I’m so sorry to hear about your hacking attack. Every time I think the ugliness has been beaten down, it rears its head again. Gah.
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Thanks sweetie life is too short – but I would like to help others in that regard *hugs*
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A lovely write that takes the read on a sweet and happy journey…thank you…bkm
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Lovely poem, Leslie! I love how you took me out of this world! It was just beautiful. 🙂
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look forward to see what we can do
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I really love the melody in this, it’s so at ease and gentle. Well done!
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Aww… that was the sweetest ride EVER, Leslie!! Goshhh.. with this poem you made me fall in love with stars all over again!!!
You know what?! My mom tells me that when I was born, the doctor had told her I was looking up at the stars… Now I have NO CLUE why he must’ve said that… but I like to believe that it was because I just LOVE watching the sky, moon and those lovely little diamonds… That sight makes me forget any and every sadness I have known… it’s pure magic!!
And today, your poem made me experience JUST THAT!! MAGIC!
Thanks for this sweet poem, my dear….
LOADSA hugs for this one…:)
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I think they always knew you would be a dreamer dear Kavita
Hugs for you dear friend
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This made me think of my son- a lovely and twinkly poem x
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and those little ones know how to twinkle – dont they?
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Children poetry is about my speed.
Your poem was highly entertaining and sweet.
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They are my speed too – thanks
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I really love this. I like the way you take me with you into the heavens with that little star… the joy that flows through your words is contagious…
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Joy is like that isnt it???
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lovely, i was transported and wanted it to be a magical dream.
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the kind you dont wake up from!!!
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Love put her in the sky – I like that notion.
Let us all fill the heavens with stars!
Nice One Shot, Moon Lady!
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Leslie, this sweetly beautiful and I love the flow of it, and it actually has a musical feel to it reading. I actually read over again smiling at the rhythm. Love it!!!! 🙂 HUGS & LOVE to You!!! ~April
P.S. Sorry to hear of your comp being hacked too! Really stinks that there are people out there spoiling things for everyone. I am starting to get a bit worried with my own (hoping it’s just the RAM causing a slow go ~ wish you much luck getting it all straightened out!
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thanks sweet friend
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A fun read, one that brings smiles as it floats in the sky. Very Nice One! JH
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I lov lov lov this…so endearing. I childrens writer you are and also for the child within us all. thank you
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i was grinning ear to ear reading this…sweet, beautiful, lovely…(Philippians 4:8)
and i thought of the ‘the Voyage of the Dawn Treader’ that i have always loved…you remember Ramathadan (sp?) and his daughter?
thank you for this gift!
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