Rejection

There are so many forms of rejection.

As a writer, the most common form of rejection is when your work isn’t picked out from among the crowd. Rejection in any form has a sting. No one welcomes rejections – that is a certainty.

Divorce is like a prism of rejection. There is so much rejection it gets flung into the environment  From a child’s perspective the parent leaves because they don’t love the child. In other words rejecting the child for greener pastures. Why? The child can’t understand why adults can’t be adult and get along or patch up their differences after all isn’t that why they are adults?

How many times does a guy or a girl feel rejection when the ax falls on the relationship? It can be too much – the prevalent thought – “No one will ever love me again.”  The rejection can be the knife that cuts through the marrow leaving a bleeding and wounded heart.

How do we deal with rejection?

Some people use rejection as an excuse for “getting even.”

A girl or guy, after a break up, may never look at a relationship quite the same. If pain comes at the end why enter into it at all. “Come on love is fleeting” some may surmise.

As a child, I learned  to mask my feelings of rejection by creating an impervious shell. The shell masked my feelings and kept people who wanted to love me out. After all I had learned that love hurts – why embrace something painful. I realize now that pain is part of life -being numb or apathetic closes out all the joys of life.

What can we learn from rejection?

Rejection happens but we don’t need to build a fort around our lives or try to protect our feelings center  to keep rejection from happening again. Rejection can make us more sensitive to others or very callous to others in pain.  Can we escape rejection in this life? I think not!

My daughter is auditioning for a summer musical. About sixty to ninety teens will audition for twelve lead parts. Some will experience the ecstasy of “you made it” but a much larger crowd will be asked to play bit roles and be the chorus. She nailed her audition and got called back. So now she will  be among twenty actors and actresses who will wait to get the thumbs up or the rejection call. As an actress, she knows part of the drama is the rejection in some ways making getting the part that much sweeter.

So what is the answer? Not being sensitive, not caring or is there something else that can sooth the savage beast of  rejection?

The Antidote to Rejection

I have a hero who dealt with rejection in an amazing way. He was ridiculed by family members, his culture, the leaders in his society. A friend turned him in to the local authorities on false charges – money was enough to turn this friend’s heart cold. My hero didn’t ridicule or spit out seething insults – he took the blame though it wasn’t his. He bore the pain of the multitudes.He loved those who hated him.

I realized through his example that the antidote to rejection is timeless – SELFLESS LOVE

Photo:Turning up roses by Todd Huffman (Creative Commons)

Facets (this is half blog half poem or a bloem)

Ever look at the many facets of a gem?

pick up the angles in perfect symmetry

light cascades off the jewel

the end result a radiant beauty

***

What about the many facets of life?

Life starts out in the small perfection of a child

The child continues to grow

Light reflects off life

Angles define who we are

Beauty is the result of years of work

Even in old age the angles reflect value- wisdom

***

The facets of both the jewel and the life

give definition

One has monetary worth

The other intrinsic value

When all is said and done

The jewel and the life

earned value in our world

***

GAZE UPON IT’S BEAUTY BEFORE IT’S GONE

Thanks to the following for their Photos:

Baby: Hammer51012

Jewel: Jurvetson

License- Creative Commons

Land of nuts, fruits, and cows – a blog

I live in the land of Ag or Agriculture. I wasn’t born here- I was born in a big city. Don’t get me wrong- I had plenty of experience feeding the chickens and mucking out stalls as a kid.

I drove by the almond orchards this morning. The pink and white blossoms are intoxicating in beauty and scent. Then I looked down on the ground and saw the boxes stacked every 100 yards or so. Those boxes contain an essential to the Ag industry – the pollinators. In other words- Bees!  I have a few stories I could tell you about bees. I was out in the country with my daughter and some friends. We were taking in the beauty of spring picking wild flowers for pressing. We were unaware that the bees had been freed that morning. Needless to say I was alarmed when I heard a loud buzzing chorus. ” Ok girls let’s walk quickly to the car. It’s time to go!”  Trying not to alarm the girls we scurried to the car. We managed to escape without one sting.

Soon it will be time for the cattle to be moved so they can graze in an area with plenty of grass. Unlike the “old days” where cattle were driven through the country along a river bed, cattle here are driven down the road. Well it’s a country road but a road my cycling friends and I frequent for a ride of rolling hills, steep climbs, and sparse traffic. Suffice it to say, one morning my riding partner and I crested a hill  to meet up with a traffic jam of the four-legged type.  I am not afraid of animals but I was not certain what hundreds of cattle would do when facing down a person sitting atop a metal contraption. One of the cowboys swiftly rode up on his faithful steed and rescued  us by and hauling us up into the back of a pickup. Who needs a night in shining armor – I’ll take a cowboy any day.

Oh ag when the evening smells that waft into your backyard aren’t those of honeysuckle but of the dairy being washed down, when the dropping temperatures have the community on their  knees knowing that the pending freeze could wipe out the year’s worth of citrus, Oh and holidays and vacations are plopped in between lambing season, planting harvesting and…

I love the Ag world – it’s full of color and delight. Bzzzz

Photography: Almond Orchard – L. Moon

Cattle Drive by Mat Honan (License Creative Commons)

Bee by Aussiegall (License Creative Commons)

Dickens – ya’ Digg?

What would writers of old do with this new technology?

What would Victor Hugo have thought of Twitter? Would he be following 10,000 by now or would he say “the ____ with those bird people.”

One of my favorite writers is Dickens. What the Dickens would he do with Tumbler other than to mix a drink? His sole use for Digg[ing] would be burying a character.

I’m certain Tolkien studied webs to get  Shelob’s lair just right. Would he take time to study – or surf the Web?

George MacDonald, a pastoral writer in the 18th century, would not understand how to write about clouds today. His clouds traversed the heather hills of Scotland.

What are today’s  writers  to do?

As a writer I ‘m told get yourself out there, become a social media maniac. I used to be a nocturnal writer now I’m a nocturnal tweeter.

Remember when windows were something you opened to let a soft breeze into your room? And a posterous would be a misspelling of something following you.

What about when you told your significant other I need “my space.” “Well honey go right ahead the computer is all yours.”

I guess a Facebook would have been one of those picture books you could stick your face or your kid’s face in.

I was talking to Derek Haines (who always manages to get named in my blogs) ; we were talking about a joint effort – in the 60s you know where that would have gone.

Do you know I am forgetting how to spell. I spell:  “great” – Gr8 ; “by the way” – BTW; ” lost in the fog” – LITF!

I’m a stickler for correct spelling but soon  my goldfish will have better spelling than me.

If I’m going to digress, I might as well share my favorite – Delicious. We used to go to the ice cream parlor get the works with gobs of stuff on top and that was delicious! How can something you can’t taste be delicious? Though some may have learned to transcend space and time and slip into a cyber world with delicious stuff – I haven’t learned that trick.

Can someone  please tell me how I can get out my window into the~ “real time?”

photo:  lanchongzi (license creative commons)

In the arms of those you love (Comfort) a blog

Comfort

When do you need comfort? You just got bad news. A family member or friend is sick or dying. Your child is in the hospital.

Today I held a friend and cried. Women do that. We cried in sorrow of what happened and celebration of what could have happened and didn’t!

My daughter was hospitalized this week. At one point, I thought she was slipping away from us. How could she? She is so young. She didn’t! Though I am concerned -I have another day to enjoy her smile and to tickle her chin.

A dear friend got a call last night, her daughter, grandson, and son-in law had been in a vehicle that flipped twice. The call was from her daughter.  “Can you meet us at the emergency room?”  I held her grandson today and aside from a good bump over one eye he was a perky toddler.

Why Wait?

Why does it take moments of distress or near calamity for us to reach out for comfort or to comfort?

So what are arms for anyway?

Don’t wait for a reason – Hug people you care about today.

Love Hurts ( losing a friend to cancer)

Romantic at Heart

I am a romantic at heart so my poet friends tell me. I never really thought about it before. Something I do know about myself is that I pour my life into lives that are suffering, hurting. I’m a nurse so I guess it helps to have a big heart – sometimes. After a heart wrenching situation with a friend, I was reminded  that Love Hurts!

A Memory

I was taken back in time, not centuries, just a few years back. Went back to a time when I was on the “top of my game.” I was in hospital admin.  My job  was  training the hospital staff- something I love to do.  I was also required to assess the staff’s progress. I spent a lot of time on one unit because it was right next to my office. One of the patients on the unit was a gal who from outward appearances seemed hard and unapproachable. As the weeks went on and we talked, Ellie became a friend.

Same People Same Places

Ellie was a little older than me but with cancer induced dementia Ellie was living in another world. Luckily the world her dementia chose was  Ellie’s late teens. In her mind, she visited places where she snuck out at night to meet a boy or have a smoke. What we discovered was that we had grown up within a five-minute drive of each other. We had known some of the same people and hung out at the same places.

Watching Decay

Ellie and I grew close because I could go back to the world where she now spent most of her time. We laughed about our antics as teens. She was there again trying to defy her parents and I was hoping her treatments would defy the odds. Ellie would visit my office after going to the courtyard for a smoke. I hated watching her decay. I hated hearing the gasping coughs after a chain smoking binge.  Ellie had rebelled and become a smoker as a teen, she was not going to give up her smoking now.

I laughed ..She coughed

I went visiting family during the holidays- drove by her house and the park and the mall. I wanted to be reminded of where she was and where we could visit together. She told me a story of  nuns skinny dipping in her pool (you didn’t hear that from me). I reminded her of the puke green fence surrounding the yard,  of shopping at the mall, and we re-lived football games. I laughed ~ she coughed. I held her as she writhed in pain; My desk blotted out my tears.

Smiles laced with sorrow

The last days I would take a flower and a smile to my heavily drugged friend. I would carry peace in to room 416; I would carry sorrow out. The tug on my heart grew more profound as the day grew near. My staff watched my pain and feared. Then it happened; I was off that day. My teen friend left me what more could I say. I cried each time I passed 416~ expected to see smoke tendrils in the courtyard. No more.

My family asked me – was it worth it? Was it worth loving her? I assured myself – “it was  worth every moment!” I am hoping she is free now seeking out the skinny dipping nuns,basking in the sun on the other side of Eternity – waiting for me.

You would think I would have learned…

Today a friend left in another way – didn’t die just moved on.  What more is there to say – I keep giving my heart and am reminded that love hurts.

Thank you Rich Anderson for the photograph

Coach Cooper (little car with a big heart)

Hi I’m Coach Cooper and I am in the process of putting together a series of stories for children.

As a mini-cooper, I know about being different. Those big trucks always make me feel insignificant and out of place.

Not to worry I’ll stay off the roads and go to the baseball diamond where I can have fun with my friends.

I got involved with a baseball league called the Miracle League. This baseball league was formed so that kids with disabilities could enjoy my favorite sport — Baseball! We even have a special field set up for the league.

You know what? Even though I am different from most of the coaches, they asked me to be third base coach.

I’m hoping that kids will really enjoy our stories. If you are on twitter you can follow me @coach_cooper. My friend Robert will also have things about me too. Robert knows about beating the odds. As a man with cerebral palsy, he has faced some incredible odds. So one of the incredible things he is doing is co-writing these books for kids. Wow — what a guy. Check out his blog robertsblog46.wordpress.org

An Incredible “I” (a blog)

I – now what?

Ok so the “I” for my week is Incredible!!!!

It is barely one week into 2010 and it has already been incredible. I like that word a lot. What isn’t there to like unless you are “incredibly sad” – which I am not!

So why Incredible you may ask???? Got an hour???

You gotta dream

Incredible is when your dreams of a lifetime start unfolding before your very eyes. Some are dreams that I had from high school (yes that long ago.) Others have been coming together over the past few years.  When other dreamers come on board, you know you are in for the ride of a lifetime.  It’s incredible! The amazing thing is I have already realized the dreams of one lifetime- I didn’t know there could be more.

Hope Vision and More!

Some of you have read a blog or two about my dear friend Robert. This “incredible” guy has an impressive vision – to reach into the lives of disabled children and give them hope, vision, and determination. He understands what it takes – he has cerebral palsy. The project I am working on, with him, is expanding and solidifying. Amazing thing is we have both had a dream to reach and encourage this group of kids for years – we just met!

One of the “I”s will need to be income to fund all these dreams. One dream is an interactive website  – amazing it just happens to be an “I”.

I’m telling ya this is my year for “I”s.

Oh I almost forgot a quick recap:

Inept- Maybe I needed to see how inept I was to realize how blessed I am!

Impulsive – yes that’s still me. That’s how I get a lot of these crazy dreams off the ground

oh yes and Insight – need the discernment to know which direction to go next

An Aside

Dear blog reader I hope you have a year that, like the roller coaster ride, has dips and twists- all of them having a thrill factor of their own. Life after all is a wild ride – enjoy all of it!

Blogging when sleep deprived

Best Blogging

When is your blogging the best?  Do ideas surge from your mind at the beginning of your day? Maybe you blog best when the day is coming to a close and life is quiet. It’s possible that you blog best when your life is in a frenzy. Have mobile phone will blog. Blogging can take place in traffic, on the train, during a boring conference…

Why Blog when tired?

Lately all of my blogging and my other writing, for that matter, has been occurring while I am sleep deprived. My definition of sleep deprivation? When you have less than four hours of sleep per night (or day in my case).

The good news about writing when you are sleep deprived is the words pour out on the page. Whether they make sense or not is another matter. The fact that I am blogging about sleep deprivation is an indication that I am at the end of my week. Three times five or fifteen hours of sleep for my week (yes I’m so sleep deprived that I’m writing my calculations out).

Functioning without sleep can be done

I didn’t used to believe it could be done. I worked with a Doctor in surgery who could go twenty days without ever having a full eight hours of sleep. How did he do it? I was intrigued so I interviewed him and watched him. He told me music, yoga, exercise, and reading stimulating books kept him awake. I won’t tell you where this Doctor performs surgery in the event you end up at his hospital.  I still don’t know how he did it. He didn’t just need to keep his eyes open he had to skillfully hold a scalpel and apply just the right amount of pressure to each incision. I can’t cycle for fear of falling off my bike.   Reading a stimulating book will put me to sleep.

What’s up with alpha?

When I was in Hawaii, I learned that dolphins sometimes swim in alpha mode. Their brain, during that time,  is on low power. They swim while they are half awake/ half asleep. So if you are wondering what I am talking about; I am simply writing in alpha mode. I am half asleep /half awake. Talking about Hawaii makes me want to lay on the hot sand and (yes you guessed it) SLEEP.

Just Sleep!

You might ask why don’t you just sleep. If I could sleep, I would but I realized I can’t sleep during the day and I work at night – so there you have it one very sleep deprived writer by day nurse by night. So when you are writing at an ungodly hour on little or no sleep, think of me. (snooze)

P.S. I love editor types – you can give my words sense.

“Insight” to begin the New Year

The “I” s have it. or they will in my life in 2010. What is it about the words that start with “I”?

I promise you it is not intentional that I keep running into a wall of  “I”s.

This one just came at me while I was reading something a poet wrote. It’s insight. That’s a handy thing to have as one begins a New Year.

According to Wikipedia

Insight can be used with several related meanings:

Insight  – the magnifying glass

Insight is like the magnifying glass that reveals things that would otherwise stay hidden. As a writer this “magnifying glass” helps me see into the lives of my characters and the world they live in. As a poet, this “magnifying glass” brings out color, shape, and feelings that would otherwise be dull and lifeless.

Where do we get insight?

I’d love to know where others get there insight from. Any takers?

For me it comes from a variety of sources. The first source is from my master, my creator – where I believe all my creative energy originates and what little common sense I possess . I have amazing friends who are writers, poets, artists who reveal things I am too dense to see myself. Study and more study is the last source.

“It’s a glimpse of something I can’t quite make out then a certain part of my brain kicks in and starts explaining it.  The ability to interpret ‘it’ had been there all the time.”  An insight from a poet friend.

I am certain that we can function on a shortage of some things but a shortage of insight my mean we bang our head into the “proverbial” wall often.

I’m Learning from the “I”s:

Inept: I learned I need to think before I speak or write

Impulsive: I’m learning to think before I act   (I did get the medical submission for my new friend tweeked.  She was sooo grateful – That’s probably why I continue to help others on impulse.)

Insight: I will gain this in the long-run from looking at life thoroughly

We are on the brink of a New Year – Hoping that 2010 is a year of inspiration, peace, and insight to you!!!!

photograph: Jon Moon ‘Chapel Pond – NY”

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