There are so many forms of rejection.
As a writer, the most common form of rejection is when your work isn’t picked out from among the crowd. Rejection in any form has a sting. No one welcomes rejections – that is a certainty.
Divorce is like a prism of rejection. There is so much rejection it gets flung into the environment From a child’s perspective the parent leaves because they don’t love the child. In other words rejecting the child for greener pastures. Why? The child can’t understand why adults can’t be adult and get along or patch up their differences after all isn’t that why they are adults?
How many times does a guy or a girl feel rejection when the ax falls on the relationship? It can be too much – the prevalent thought – “No one will ever love me again.” The rejection can be the knife that cuts through the marrow leaving a bleeding and wounded heart.
How do we deal with rejection?
Some people use rejection as an excuse for “getting even.”
A girl or guy, after a break up, may never look at a relationship quite the same. If pain comes at the end why enter into it at all. “Come on love is fleeting” some may surmise.
As a child, I learned to mask my feelings of rejection by creating an impervious shell. The shell masked my feelings and kept people who wanted to love me out. After all I had learned that love hurts – why embrace something painful. I realize now that pain is part of life -being numb or apathetic closes out all the joys of life.
What can we learn from rejection?
Rejection happens but we don’t need to build a fort around our lives or try to protect our feelings center to keep rejection from happening again. Rejection can make us more sensitive to others or very callous to others in pain. Can we escape rejection in this life? I think not!
My daughter is auditioning for a summer musical. About sixty to ninety teens will audition for twelve lead parts. Some will experience the ecstasy of “you made it” but a much larger crowd will be asked to play bit roles and be the chorus. She nailed her audition and got called back. So now she will be among twenty actors and actresses who will wait to get the thumbs up or the rejection call. As an actress, she knows part of the drama is the rejection in some ways making getting the part that much sweeter.
So what is the answer? Not being sensitive, not caring or is there something else that can sooth the savage beast of rejection?
The Antidote to Rejection
I have a hero who dealt with rejection in an amazing way. He was ridiculed by family members, his culture, the leaders in his society. A friend turned him in to the local authorities on false charges – money was enough to turn this friend’s heart cold. My hero didn’t ridicule or spit out seething insults – he took the blame though it wasn’t his. He bore the pain of the multitudes.He loved those who hated him.
I realized through his example that the antidote to rejection is timeless – SELFLESS LOVE
Photo:Turning up roses by Todd Huffman (Creative Commons)